So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i may or may not be watching the land before time
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize