Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
