I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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