Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
