The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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