idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
