There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
