I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
