im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
