look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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