you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
