I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
