in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize