Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
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It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize