Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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