Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
