watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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