We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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