he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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