I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
