You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
