Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
