Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I want to make a zoo with you.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.