That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.