Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.

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(760): Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing. http://tfl.nu/culr

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(775): View more from Nevada

Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.

(504): View more from Louisiana

Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.

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(775): Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk. (504): Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera. http://tfl.nu/hakn

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(816): View more from Missouri

you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too

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(816): you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too http://tfl.nu/2c4t

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(219): View more from Indiana

shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs

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(219): shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs http://tfl.nu/nfdh

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(360): View more from Washington

on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?

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(360): on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you? http://tfl.nu/kgxf

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(706): View more from Georgia

We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.

(1-706): View more from Georgia

Where's it at?

(706): View more from Georgia

In your pants.

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(706): We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now. (1-706): Where's it at? (706): In your pants. http://tfl.nu/w8ar

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(619): View more from California

When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.

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(619): When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward. http://tfl.nu/9nr4

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(914): View more from New York

My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.

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(914): My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off. http://tfl.nu/9ogm

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(919): View more from North Carolina

No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.

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(919): No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you. http://tfl.nu/9kp9

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?

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(+44): I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone? http://tfl.nu/7opu

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(740): View more from Ohio

As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.

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(740): As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there. http://tfl.nu/knxy

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(512): View more from Texas

ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband

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(512): ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband http://tfl.nu/p8hd

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(224): View more from Illinois

That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.

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(224): That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass. http://tfl.nu/rpga

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(205): View more from Alabama

i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding

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(205): i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding http://tfl.nu/mji7

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(954): View more from Florida

Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.

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(954): Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache. http://tfl.nu/s2zl

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