Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.