are you wasted or are you getting laid?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Boobs speak an international language.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...