And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
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Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
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If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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