First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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