is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We got so high we made milksteak
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
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AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
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I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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