After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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