GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize