Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Randomize
