Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
