omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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