Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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