Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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