i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
