Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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