We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
