That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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