then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
