I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
