So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
