So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
