Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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