He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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