I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
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It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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