okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize
