I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
