Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
