i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
