Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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