Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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