I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
