Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
