he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize