People in love make me want to vomit
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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